Stop Blaming Yourself
by IsTheFireCatching
Summary: REWRITE / Before the Epilogue in Mockingjay. Ever wondered what happened to Peeta&Katniss, Gale and Haymitch? How does Gale feel about Prim's death, and Katniss towards Gale? Gale towards Peeta? How is Katniss's Mother doing? How is Peeta dealing with his attacks? Did the rebels actually succeed in winning the war? WARNING: DON'T READ GALE FANS!
1. Chapter 1

**DO NOT READ GALE FANS... I HAVE A VERY STRONG HATRED FOR THE CHARACTER, AND I'M SURE IT WILL SHOW THROUGHOUT THE STORY!**

**I am very sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes...**

**My Beta, Hugergamesloverr: you are the BEST GIRL IN THE WORLD and I love you!**

**Disclaimer****: I do not own the Hunger Games... But I do own practically every single piece of THG merchandise. ;)**

_***Katniss's POV***_

_3 things stand out about my current situation:_

_One, I am some place I don't recognise. By myself.  
Two, The freezing air whips my skin, causing goose bumps to spread like wild fire.  
And three, the sound of which I thought was the wind, is actually a voice, whistling through the trees._

_"Katniss." It hisses, as I run from the mutts that are running full speed, chasing me._

_"Katniss." It drones out, emphasising every single sailable._

_"Katniss." I beckons me to stop, but I will never succumb to it, I can't succumb to it._

_I should be running to Peeta, finding him._

_But they have my scent there, on my trail._

_Not his, for the time being, and I would like to keep it that way._

_As I run, my head rapidly turns from side to side, searching for a twist in the trail. After too short of a time, I come to a cliff face. Somehow I manage to stop just before I plumate to my death. Small rocks crumble under my weight and fall down the menacing drop._

_I throw myself into a small alcove, attempting to protect myself from the rabid animals.  
Only, they never come._

_Their constant growls have transformed into howls of laughter. Human laughter. Laughter that sends chills down my spine. Two faces appear only inches away from my eyes, evil smiles plastered on the filthy faces._

_"Miss Everdeen, long time no see." Growls the tall, threatening male tribute.  
-Cato._

_"Found loverboy'?" The smaller female questions, smirking.  
-Clove._

_I don't reply, I just stare daggers at them.  
If looks could kill, I would have been crowned victor long ago._

_"Didn't think so, he's dead. Killed him, all of 2 hours ago." Cato states again, marvelling in his temporary victory._

_I feel as-though all the wind has been knocked out of me, as I begin rasping for air._

_"Kill me, then." I attempt to shout, but it comes out more of a whisper._

_"Don't worry, we plan to." She sniggers, grabbing my wrist and twisting it painfully, as she drags me into plain view._

_Cameras, figures._

_"But with a show, of course." He muses, before giving her a high-five._

_I grit my teeth, bracing myself for the certain pain.  
You would think that I would only notice the face. They layout all of their 'tools' in front of me. Or that I would fixate on the way they are slowly backing my into the wall of the cliff._

_But instead, I begin to notice the patterns on the floor, and how the dust highlights the cracks. I notice how the trees whisper my name, louder. I notice how flowers are surrounding my feet, glinting in the moonlight._

_But the main, and foremost thing I realise: is that Peeta is with me.  
He's here, helping me through my certain and almost welcomed death. His spirit is here, making me notice the smaller things in life and it are those smaller things that make me stand my ground._

_With this realisation, I feel as though my senses have been turned off. Adrenaline pumps through my veins, my heart beating too loud. The only thing I can hear is my blood rushing through my shivering body._

_I don't feel the knife as it pierces through my skin on my lower forearm, the only indication is the warm, sticky substance flowing from my wrist. I wince slightly as he glides the point of another knife down my jaw line._

_As time passes, blood coats most of my body. But the actual pain has yet to arrive. The whispering wind changed voice, now sounding more pained; pleading if 'you will'._

_My mind starts to wonder, while my body begins to shake more vigorously.  
Like a ton of bricks, the pain I never felt hits, full force, and a small cry makes its way out of my mouth._

_And, just like that: I wake up._

***Peeta's POV***

"Katniss, wake up." I start to shake her shoulders slightly, wanting nothing more than for her to wake up.

"Katniss, please." My pleading voice breaks through the heavy night sky.

The shivering girl before me begins to cry out in her sleep. Even though she is coming up to the age of 18, she looks younger than ever.

"Katniss!" I begin to scream her name, hoping it will get through to her unconscious mind.

All of a sudden, her eyes snap open. And within seconds, she is bawling her eyes out.

"Pee-ta" She chokes, tears falling down her face mirroring the subdued rain tapping against the window.

I kneel up next to her quivering body, racking with sobs.

"Shhh, it's just a dream. Nothing was real Katniss, none of it was real." I coo, whispering into her ear.

Over time, she begins to relax and melts into my body. We sit in silence for a while, during which I release her hair from the constricting braid and brush my fingers through it. Once the storm of emotions radiating off her had subsided, I allow myself to fall back onto the bed, cradling her in my lap.

"What time is it?" She questions, glancing towards the slightly open window.

The sun is just peaking over the trees that frame the victors village.

"5am." I answer.

Old habits die hard I guess.

"Oh, sorry If I woke you." She whispers, her eyes still locked on the window.

The smell of rain washes through in a sudden wave, and the slightest of smiles appears on her face.

"You didn't wake me." I confirm, holding her tighter.

"What do you want to do now?" She asks, lacing our fingers together.

"I'm good, here. What about you?"

"I'm good."

"I wish I could freeze this moment; right here, right now and live in it forever." I murmur, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I wish I could freeze this moment; right here. right now and live in it forever." She echoes, her slight smile faltering slightly.

_Her sparkling eyes pierce through me, and I fall in love with her all over again. God I wish that she was mine, as in really mine. Perhaps she could have been, only time would have told. If it weren't for Gale, could I convince her that I could be everything she could ever want, and more? No, Snow ruined my chances with Katniss with the Quell. I'm so lost in my thoughts, I find myself plating her hair, over and over. Realizing what I'm doing, I claim I'm practicing knots, we both know I'm lying, but she doesn't stop me. I'm glad, may as well make the most, it's not like we have long... correction - I have long. I know what I have to do, sacrifice myself, in order to save Katniss. I may not be able to have a life with her, but she can go home. To Prim, to however much it pains me to say, let alone think about, Gale. She deserves to be happy, after all she has been through. Haymitch will look out for her, I know he will. He never fails. Despite the fact he is annoying, arrogant and poor mannered, he's smart, and can keep a promise. I can only hope he will listen to me, and save her. If by any chance, I come out alive without Katniss, He will have me to answer to. "I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now and live in it forever."_

"I said that, before the Quell... Real or not real?" I ask, looking down at her.

"Real." She states, giving my hand a squeeze.

There are still a lot of things I don't remember and many memories that trigger attacks. They are regular, but Katniss doesn't know this. She needs to think that we could be, that we are repairable.  
Who knows, maybe we are.  
I am remembering more as time passes, mainly trivial things but at least it is coming back to me.

"Damn, and there was me, thinking I could be all charming..." I chuckle into her hair, and my words are rewarded with a silent chuckle.

"Oh, hah hah."

Sometimes, I think Katniss forgets I can read her like a book. I let out a deep sigh before going off on the usual rant.

"Katniss, none of this is your fault... We were both willing to use the berries, we were both willing to sacrifice ourselves in order to save the other, we were both... not willing as such, but we were both faces of the rebellion... You didn't kill 23 children every year, Snow brought this on himself. You didn't kill unless it was to save those you love... No one blames you, no one. So don't blame yourself Kat, it's not worth it... He's not worth it. "

"But, it was so many lives Peeta." She chokes, placing her head on my shoulder.

"More would have been lost if the games had continued."

"That's beside the point."

"Then, what is the point?"

"Finnick: dead. His child will never know him.  
"Prim: dead. Gone, before she even knew what life was about."

"I think you're wrong."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Finnick, he may be dead. But his child will still love him. He helped make the world a better place, for everyone. He may be gone, but he will never be forgotten.  
"And Prim, she was far too young when she died, but she still knew what life was about."

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you think she wanted to be a nurse in Thirteen?"

"Because she was good at it?"

"Or was she good at it because that's who she wanted to be?"

"I guess, I never really thought about it that way before."

"That's not your fault, you've had bigger problems."

"But, so did you."

"Yes, but I spent longer in thirteen then you did."

"Meaning?"

"I saw Prim a lot more then you knew of."

She gives me a confused look, so I try to elaborate.

"Me, mentally insane. Prim, nurse."

"Oh, right."

After a moment of silence, filled with heavy breathing and charitable thoughts, she decides to change the subject.

"Did you just call me Kat?" She jokes, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I might have. Why does it annoy you?"

"Well, it used to. It would always remind me of Gale, but strangely when you said it: it didn't."

"Um, thank you?"

"Trust me, that's a good thing."

"What does it remind you of?"

"You."

**A/N: Hello All!  
This is the new and hopefully improved 'Stop Blaming Yourself'.  
This was filled with a lot of dialogue, I know but it just kind of happened...**

**Please let me know what you think of this, is it any better?**

**Much love,  
Amy xo**


	2. Chapter 2

**Katniss's POV**  
I spent the rest of the early morning in Peeta's arms, watching the sun slowly illuminate the sky. We both started moving around 8am, Peeta going off to bake bread. Even though his family's bakery is still closed, he keeps most people well stocked.

Even though the capitol is no longer in power, Victors still get their compensation money. As do the soldiers that fought for freedom. So, it's not like he really needs the money like he used to.

Haymitch still drinks away the days. Promising every Sunday he will quit but we normally find him passed out on Monday morning.

On my way into the woods, my nightmare still plagues my mind. But, I don't understand why. It isn't the worst I have had, but this has had a greater effect of me.

_What's different about this one?_

In my head, I make a mental list of everything that's different about this dream.  
1) I was in a different Arena.  
2) I wasn't watching someone I love get tortured like usual.

I have great difficulty in thinking of a third, as I enter the woods. The fence was taken down, leaving the pathway open for anyone to enter.  
My feet scrape through the freshly grown shrubs, not caring about the amount of noise I make. I come out here daily, but I never come back with any game. However, no one asks questions.  
This is my therapy.  
Peeta's is baking and drawing.  
Haymitch's is drinking away his problems and nightmares.  
Many things have changed, but some have stayed the same.

Some time passes as I make my way through the familiar trees. But during that time, I feel anger begin to flare within me and I don't even know why. Before I know it, I am literally stomping through the trees.

By the time I reach my usual stop, my old meeting point with Gale, I literally scream out in frustration and collapse on a rock.

All of a sudden, the wind picks up and I immediately shudder. Not because of the abrupt chill, but because for a split second: I'm back in the arena. For a strange reason, I want Peeta's arms around me, holding me.

I think of my relationship with Peeta occasionally: how we have come so far in these past few months. The arrangement to share the same bed was devised only days after him returning.

We kept bumping into each other in the morning hours, roaming round the familiar land of the Victors Village. Since then, it seemed stupid to be apart.

I collapse back, sprawling myself over the rock, absorbing the early spring sun. However, that nightmare still plagues my mind. I throw my arm over my eyes, shielding them from the bright light, only to remove it seconds later after being plunged into too familiar darkness.

Finally, my mind gives up analysing the dream and begins to wonder.  
_Where's Peeta?_

I have no idea what he does in the day. Occasionally, I find him staring blankly at the ashes of town on my way back from the woods. Sometimes, I find him painting constantly in the study. And, once or twice: he is nowhere to be found and suddenly appears after dusk.

Strangely enough, Peeta wasn't involved in my nightmare last night. Was that what this was about? I still haven't figured out my feelings for Peeta, even from before the games. I always told myself that I was never going to fall in love. It's really hard to try and change that.

I sigh again in frustration.

Over time, I begin to get restless and begin to wander around. Without me even realising it, I'm stood at the border of town. I glance towards the bakery and don't spot Peeta anywhere. With nothing else to do but head home, I amble towards the Victors Village.

The first house I stop by is Peeta's.

"Peeta?" I call out, pushing on the always open door.

With no response, I shut the door and saunter over to my own.

"Peeta?" I shout again, but this time, I get a half response.

There is sudden suffering around, followed swiftly by the back door opening then slamming shut.

"What the." I mumble, making my way towards the kitchen.

Upon my entrance, I let out a gasp. There is glass everywhere, with a chair tipped over. Nothing is missing, not that there was anything of importance here anyway.

I spend a few minutes taking in the scene and trying to decide whether I should clean it up or go look for Peeta. I decide against the latter, figuring he had his reasons.

If it was even him.

"Who else would be in your house, Haymitch?" I mutter, shrugging off my coat and throwing it over the kitchen table.

I start to pick up the big pieces of glass, placing them into the bin only feet away. Luckily, most of the shards were pretty big and easy to pick up, meaning it takes no time at all.

I take my coat from the table and place it on the actual coat rack near the door, removing my boots at the same time. I glance at the clock situated on the top of the fireplace, sadly it states that it is only 1pm.

I collapse on the couch, but just as I do there is a sudden knock that the door.

"It's open." I shout, not wanting to get up again.

"Hi Girly." Sea says, closing the door behind her and walking to one of the lone chairs in the living area.

"Hi Sea," I say, looking up at the frail yet strong woman. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Well, I figured with that boy of yours here, you wouldn't need a cook."

"He's not mine, Sea."

"I have something for you." She announces, ignoring my retort.

"You do?" I ask, bewildered.

She nods and passes me a neatly written letter.

"I will leave you to read it in peace." She states, moving from the chair towards the door again. "Bye girl."

"Bye, Sea." I call, my eyes still fixed on the letter at hand.

The elegant script looms up at me:

_Katniss._

I stare at the envelope for what seems like forever, before opening it with shaky hands.

_Katniss,_ It reads.  
_I am so sorry for the delay, I know you probably hate me for not getting in contact, let alone not coming home. Well, I guess it's no longer home, this is.  
As you know I am in District 4, trying to get my life back on track. I learnt from my mistakes from when I lost your father and have tried my best not to zone out again. I think I am doing well.  
I hope I'm doing well.  
Who am I kidding, I'm a mess. I don't even know which way is up anymore.  
Katniss, I really am sorry for the way I have been acting for the past 6 years and I know that no words will fix it. Just know that, I really am sorry. If I could change the past, I would but we both know that's not possible.  
Anyway, I'm here in District 4 with Annie. She is developing nicely, everything seems normal which is great news.  
How is District 12 doing? If it's anything like here then I'm sure it's amazing.  
Look, I love you okay? I need you to know that.  
I love you and I miss you.  
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.  
Because I can't lose you, too.  
Please, please, please call me as soon as you can. Haymitch has my number, as I sent him a letter also._

_ If you don't call, I won't blame you._

__

I'm sorry baby girl.  
Love you,  
Mum x  
P.S I wrote, then rewrote, then rewrote this letter. Hundredth time lucky?

I reread the letter several times, choking on my own tears. I can see she has crossed out some of the sentences: 'You should see this District, Katniss.' being the one that sticks out. I think she means well, not intending to rub it in my face I am still under strict orders to remain within District twelve.

My tears start to escalate, turning into racked sobs. I draw my knees to my chest and rock myself, eyes locked on the letter sitting beside me on the couch.

I suddenly yearn for Peeta's strong and comforting arms to hold me, and for him to whisper that everything will be okay.

By the time I come back to the land of the living, it's becoming dark outside. I force myself up and pathetically wipe my eyes. I pick up the letter, scrunching it up in my hand, and lug on my coat and boots.

I step into the spring air, clutching the tearstained letter closer to my chest. I shuffle over to Haymitch's house. I give my eyes one last wipe, before opening his front door.

As I enter two sets of eyes land on me. One of which is bloodshot, and empty looking, the other, laced with concern but no anger. There is a moment where nobody moves but just stays, frozen.

"Hi." I stutter, shifting my gaze to the floor to hide my colourless face.

Without another word, Peeta practically bolts past me and out of the door, taking his bloodshot eyes with him.

I spin round, gaping at the fact Peeta barley acknowledged me.

"Don't sweetheart, just don't." Haymitch whispers, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Why, what?" I stutter again, turning to face him.

"I barely know myself. Anyway, what can I do for you today?"

"I got a letter from my mother."

"You want her number?"

"Yes please." I say meekly, still not meeting his eyes.

"I got one too, you know." He says, moving to retrieve her number.

"So I heard."

"There was something she wanted me to give to you, here."

He hands me a small slip of paper, written in the same script as my own.

_ "Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars."  
- Nico Lang (via l-uunar),_ It reads.

"Good advice." I mutter, holding the paper along with my letter.

"Stay alive?" He jokes, walking into the kitchen.

I follow him, rolling my eyes at his attempt to lighten the mood.

"I'm going to go Haymitch, call my mother."

"Maybe, you should wait."

"What do you mean?"

"Give Peeta a minute."

"Haymitch, what is going on. He is really scaring me. One moment he is fine, the next he is vacant."

He gives me a pointed look, and it all clicks into place.

"How could you not tell me?!" I shout, anger blubbering up in my veins.

"Let me explain, please?" He says, giving me the most sincere, pleading look he has ever given me.

"Fine, talk."

"Drink?"

"Sure, just spill."

"I can only say so much Katniss."

"Haymitch," I warn, crossing my arms and collapsing in a kitchen chair.

"I only know a little bit, I will tell you what I think appropriate."

"Why do you get to decide what's appropriate?"

"Because like it or not, you are still under my custardy. And, you are still classed as insane. Speaking of which, I do know about you not talking with Dr Aurelius."

"I, uh..."

"Lost for words, eh?"

"Shut up Haymitch."

He sighs audibly, handing me a mug of hot chocolate.

"Okay, Peeta has been struggling to keep control lately. It's like we have taken about 20 steps backwards."

"To the point.." I push, sitting forward in my seat.

"To the point, he is becoming a threat."

Silence washes over us, as his words sink in.

"Katniss, please understand what he is going through. He is trying his best, okay."

Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars.

Those words echo around my skull, along with Haymitch's previous statement.

"Violent?" I ask, my voice shaking.

"It's hard to tell..."

"What does this mean?"

"There are options. One of which, I think would make matters worse for both of you."

"And that is?"

"There is talk of sending him back to the Capitol for further treatment."

"Also knows as torture."

"I have decided against it, but there is only so much I can do, Katniss."

"Can I go now please, Haymitch?"

"I think he has had enough time, but don't bring it up. He is on such a breakable thread, it won't take much to push him over the edge."

"I get it."

"Katniss?"

"Yeah?"

He coughs slightly, shifting in his seat.

"I'm proud of you."

"Thank you Haymitch." I whisper.

I stand up, but I don't move towards the door. Instead, I move to where he is sat and wrao my arms around him.

"For everything."

"Well, aren't we acting all out of sorts?" He jokes, but I can see the emotion in his eyes.

And with that, I leave.

* * *

**A/n: I know that this is moving quicker then last time, but I read all of the chapters and there was a lot of things that weren't needed. I hope to update again Friday :D **

**Stay Alive.**

**~Amy oxox**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notice down at the bottom :)**

**This hasn't been edited, but I will explain everything down below :)**

* * *

***Haymitch's POV***

"Man, that girl has changed." I mumble, as I clear away the two untouched mugs.

Was it really only 12 months ago that she was this strong, invincible woman?

Whereas now, she is just an empty shell. Her fire remains, but there is something different about her.

Something, about both of them.

* * *

***Peeta's POV***

Embarrassment weighs down my shoulders, and I shuffle through my own home. I think I enter every room, only to walk back out again moments later.

I find myself in the bathroom, hands griping at the sink, knuckles turning white. I exhale shakily, slowly lifting my head to look in the mirror.

At first I see myself.

But the harder I look I begin to notice: the bags under my eyes; the patches of skin slightly off colour, highlighting random sections; the redness in my cheeks from where the tears were only minutes ago.

My dad always taught me, it was okay to cry, but that doesn't defeat the worthlessness that creeps into my thoughts.

I can't help but wonder how much Haymitch is telling her, if anything.

Twisting the tap with shaking hands, warm water splashes up and coaxes the blood round my body.

Splashing my face with water, I glance up in the mirror again and I jump out of my skin when I see the figure behind me.

"Why didn't you tell me Peeta?" The figure asks, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. We both stand there in silence, her apologetic but also angry eyes speak more than words ever could.

"Are you mad?" I ask sheepishly, dragging my left foot along the tiled floor.

It's strange how much it actually feels like my regular leg.

"Hurt, mainly." She answers, turning to walk away.

"Katniss." I half whine, half shout.

"Mm?"

Still walking away.

"Please." I whisper, standing where she was only seconds ago.

She freezes, standing at the top of the stairs, grasping the banister. Slowly, she turns around, meeting my gaze.

"I'm sorry; I didn't want to tell you."

"But why? Thats what I don't understand."

"I can't explain it."

"Look, I'm going to try and call my mum again. Come over, whenever."

"Okay." I shrug, jamming my damp hands in my pockets.

***Katniss's POV***

I half sulk, half storm over to my house. The crisp paper, crumpling in my sweaty hands, with Haymitch's untidy sprawl littered over the paper.

My mother's words ring round my head: _Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars._

As do Haymitch's: _he is becoming a threat._

Pushing open my door, I step into the empty house. Everything echoes, reminding me that I am, once again, alone.

Ignoring my coat and boots, I walk straight to the phone.

I only phoned the number ten minutes ago, but I don't think it is fair, or safe to phone with Peeta present.

I carefully read the number and enter them into the phone, despite the fact of my memorising it earlier.

The dialling tone screams down my ear, before the rings drag on.

I am about to place the phone back on the receiver, thinking that, yet again there is no answer. However, just as I remove it from my ear, a voice answers.

"Hello?" Asks a calm, familiar voice.

I want to reply but every single word I know becomes lodged in my throat.

"Hellooo?" She asks again, a bit louder.

I hear her sigh, and I do the same seconds later.

"Hi." I breathe, clutching the phone tightly.

"K-k-Katniss?"

"That's me."

* * *

***Katniss's Mum's POV***

"Is that really you?" I whisper into the receiver.

I would know that voice anywhere. Its the same voice that begged me to come back to them. I can not believe I allowed myself to go into my own world. I have missed so much of their lives. Prim, she is gone forever and Katniss is lost and broken. She has just lead a rebellion and is now dealing with the aftermath.

"Yeah, It's me." She says, without the usual edge to her voice.

* * *

***Katniss's Pov***

"Oh my. I have missed you so much! How have you been?" She gushes, not containing her excitement.

"I have missed you too, I'm go..." I begin then, I realize there is no point lying to her. She will be able to see through it and I don't need to protect here, she has lost everyone as well. She must understand, after everything she went though with my father. "I've been better... How about you? Hows life in District 4?" I ask, into the phone.

"As you said, I've been better... District 4 is great! Everyone is so friendly and supportive. They put up the statue of Finnick yesterday; all of the girls still swoon over him." She chuckles. I can practically see Finnick in my mind, doing a little victory dance.

_"Thats right, I've still got it. I'm just too distracting, as you know Katniss. I actually wouldn't mind seeing you in one of those hospital gowns... that way I might just be scared, and the only nightmares I will ever get would be of you." _

The tears fall freely down my face, dropping from my chin and landing onto the hardwood floor.

"Bet he love that." I smile through my tears, collapsing to the floor, right in the hallway. "And Annie?"

"She is Fine. Heavily pregnant, and a little more broken... But she is dealing with it, in her own way." Her voice suddenly turning serious.

"Well thats good... Look Mum, I better get going, things aren't great over here..." I manage to get out, through the tears that are blurring my vision.

"How do you mean?"

"Not now, please? I'll call you."

" I love you, Katniss, and just know that I'm sorry for what I put you both through when we lost your father." She chokes out the last part, and I feel the need to comfort her.

"I understand now, I do."

Silence.

The only thing to be heard is our sobs.

"Well, bye Katniss." She speaks softly, after a rather long pause.

"Wait, Mum?"

"Yes?"

"I love you too, and you know that I miss you right?" I whisper, when I remember how to breathe. I do love her. Every daughter loves their mother, even if mine abandoned me. She is now all I have left of a family, and I want her in my life.

"I know Katniss. Speak soon." She says, I pathetically raise my hand and bend my fingers as if waving

. I know she can't see me, but I don't trust myself to speak. I break down in full on sobs, it isn't long before strong arms pick my up and put me back down on his lap. He hangs up the phone and just holds me for a while.

"Peeta?"

* * *

***Peeta's POV* **

After bracing myself for a surely awkward, painful conversation, I leave my own house and walk over to its twin. I open the front door and walk in, the way I always do. But this time, she's talking to someone. I listen as she says goodbye to someone.

"I love you too, and you know that I miss you right?" she whispers.

I edge round the skirts of the room, following her cracking voice. I catch sight of her looking into her lap, her cheeks tear stained. I watch as she waves to no one, then drops the phone onto her lap and starts to sob. I silently walk over to her, and pick her up. I place her in my lap and rock her back and forth.

"Peeta?" She asks, through racked sobs.

"What is it?" I ask, looking down at her scared face and wiping away the tears. She just stares at me for a moment, and I gaze into her perfect silver eyes.

"...Nothing" she whispers, looking back down again, breaking our eye contact. I say nothing and just rock her back and forth, again.

* * *

**A/N: Hai :D**

**Um, sorry for the lack of updates: we sent my laptop into repair, only to have it returned to me, unfixed. So, I am still waiting for my laptop.**

**I wrote this chapter on my ipod, on a very long car journey, so the mistakes are endless and I know that.  
I have changed what stands out to me, but this was the result.  
I know this is rather broken and jumpy but once I get my laptop back I will replace this chapter with the edited version and continue writing. **

**I am posting this from the local library, so I haven't used spell check or anything. **

**I'm sowwie L**

**I thought I backed up all of my prewritten work so that I could write from my brothers, or mums laptop but I didn't…  
So, if mine gets wiped when in repair, I have lost all of my fanfiction stuff…**

**Anyway: I love you all&comments are always appreiciated.**

**Stay safe, Kid(s).**

**~Amy x**


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